What Are The Best Sex Toys For Long Distance Couples?
Let’s face it: distance makes the heart grow fonder, but when it comes to sex and long-distance relationships… not so much. It’s no secret that sex hosts a world of benefits that enhance the health of your overall relationship – and couples sex toys are just as effective.
According to research, couples have sex about twice a month, minimum, and that desire doesn’t change when you and your partner(s) have miles between you. From missing physical touch to sexual frustration, the yearning can feel unbearable.
Thankfully, sex technology has taken a special interest in your pleasure, with remote sex toys for long-distance couples becoming the buzziest trend and making virtual bonds stronger than ever.
Challenges of long-distance relationships
Most people think that not having enough sex is the pitfall of this relationship style - however, your sex life isn’t the only aspect that suffers. Distance can make communication more difficult, especially if you’re in different time zones; jealousy can spike, and trust can only take you so far.
How often should couples use sex toys in a long-distance relationship?
Contrary to popular belief, there isn’t one single way to have mind-blowing sex, and there isn’t a rule of thumb regarding how much sex you should have. Creativity is key, and sex toys only amplify the prospect of gratification.
What are the benefits of using remote-controlled sex toys in long-distance relationships?
Now, what if I told you that your sex life is not only fun, but a tool for maintaining your relationship? With ever-evolving sex technology, the stigma of couples' toys is slowly dying while couples are becoming more open to new fantasies.
To start, Bluetooth and remote-control sex toys essentially elevate sexual experiences, which, as a result, boost your confidence and bonding between partners.
Long-distance sex toys that use Bluetooth settings literally help you keep in touch – without physically touching each other. They were created for couples just like you, whether you prefer clitoral or penetrative pleasure or both.
Also known as teledildonics, this world of pleasure is best for couples who enjoy mutual masturbation, public pleasure, and BDSM. Most vibes can be used LDR (long-distance relationships, or far apart) and IRL (in real life, aka face-to-face), so make sure you bring your playmates along for your next trip with your lover; it's bound to take pleasure to the next level. For example, if circumstances keep you prone to mutual masturbation, try a new sex position with your toy and remind your lover that they’ll get to please you in the same position on the next trip.
Which sex toys are ideal for long-distance relationships?
Toys with a remote control are meant for close-range couples. For example, those in medium-distance relationships can bring their toy and remote over for a weekend play session IRL. As for long-distance relationships? Not so much.
Types of Remote Control Toys
Remote control vibes come in two flavors: close range with remote (for IRL play) and Bluetooth-compatible toys that use an app.
Bluetooth toys are very easy to use and beginner-friendly. If you and your lover are miles apart, Bluetooth-compatible toys use your cell phone as the remote. Here, you simply download the product’s app, and your partner can control the speed and patterns of pleasure from miles away.
How to use long-distance and remote-control sex toys
The key to using a remote toy is forgetting you’re not there with your lover. After all, the reason you’re so into this style of pleasure is because you miss them. So why not pretend you’re in a fantasy, this time in real life, enjoying pleasure with no barriers?
To use a remote toy, simply pair the toy with your product's respective app. The app is usually labeled on the front of the packaging or inside.
Are Bluetooth toys safe for couples?
Bluetooth sex toys have many functions, but there are certain precautions needed to ensure safety. Always use Bluetooth toys either in private or in public areas where there are no neighbors. Not only is it essential for consent, but it ensures that no one can join play without your consent.
Most Bluetooth sex toy apps are encrypted, and will require you to share a specific code with your partner to hand over control, prompting you to consent on your device before they can start - making sure you know who you’re playing with. These toys can also only be controlled when already turned on and connected to the user’s Bluetooth setting.
Also, as with any sex toys - make sure to effectively clean your toys before and after use.
Choosing the right toy for your long-distance relationship
Finding the top sex toys for long-distance relationships is different for every couple. But you should start with one question: “What do I desire?” To find the best sex toy for your relationship, each person in the relationship needs to be open about what they desire. Asking yourself this question will also help you understand your fantasies as an individual so you can communicate them.
C-shaped toys like the We-Vibe Chorus have a unique, adjustable shape that lets you play hands-free and customize your pleasure exactly where you want it. If you’re on a video chat or phone call, these toys leave your hands free to hold your phone or tablet, letting one person experience the pleasure of a blended orgasm while the other controls speed and/or intensity. This can allow for a more connected and intimate experience for long-distance couples.
Bluetooth devices aren’t only for long-distance play, however. If you enjoy BDSM and explorative sex, you can also use this toy style for fun at home or kink parties.
For example, when your lover comes into town, try shower sex – but with a kinky twist. Before your partner steps out of the shower, try using the Pulse Duo on them. The Duo is the world’s first “guybrator” or penis massager that produces otherworldly, multi-speed orgasms (don’t take my word for it? Read the reviews).
It’s waterproof, so instead of ditching the steamy shower, get comfortable and stand behind your partner as you stroke them with the Duo, or you can have them stroke themselves while you watch by the bathroom counter. For a nice surprise, you can press the “Turbo” button, which takes the speed setting to its highest setting, no matter which level you were on before.
If you enjoy dominance and submission, have them kneel or lay back with a blindfold as you control their orgasm with the remote. For added stimulation, tease them with a feather tickler, travel pinwheel, or spank with a riding crop.
Then, bridge the distance by scrolling through Good Vibes online store and seeing what toys get you both excited (and, let’s be real, horny). Discuss ideal price points, how you want to please each other, and whether the remote toy will be used only at a distance or brought with you during IRL meets – or both.
The best remote control vibrator for couples is what aligns best with both of you.
How to encourage intimacy in your long-distance relationship
Good sex is subjective, but remote toys won’t hurt. By now, you most likely know the tips and tricks for maintaining a healthy relationship: communication, quality time, and honesty. But when it comes to maintaining your physical connection, communication will only take you so far. Sometimes, you just need to experience a mind-blowing and leg-shaking orgasm.
If you’re here, you’re most likely curious about how to introduce sex toys into your bedrooms, so here’s everything you need to know about enhancing intimacy with remote-control toys.
By now, you most likely know the tips and tricks for maintaining a healthy relationship: communication, quality time, and honesty. For example, setting a weekly check-in call where you share the things you love about each other, recap important elements like finances, and share action points for improved communication on the go. For example, if you both had a busy week at work, you may need to cut back on daily communication, which isn’t ideal. Instead of just ditching each other, discuss ways you can best support each other like ordering dinner delivery to their office when they’re working late nights.
When love is at a distance, it’s important to go big or go home – especially when it comes to maintaining your physical connection. Communication will only take you so far.
Make plans for something new
To start, set traditions that keep the spark alive. Fun tradition ideas can range from a weekly date night where you both binge a new TV show together or create a new recipe. Alternatively, try working out together as this will keep you both active – and ready for adventurous sex when you’re IRL.
Another fun idea for keeping distance spicy is card game nights. Intimacy card games are crafted by sex and relationship experts to help improve your relationship, while keeping the vibe fun and flirty. With prompts like “What do you miss about having sex with me?” and “What would you do if you were here,” you can encourage intimacy while enjoying yourselves.
Lastly, if finances permit – plan trips together! Don’t just plan quarterly trips to your lover's place. Instead, opt for a relaxing getaway so you both have intimate moments to look forward to. Sometimes, distance becomes daunting because there doesn’t appear to be an end to the horizon. Encouraging intimacy in an LDR is all about getting creative with virtual activities, like setting new traditions and creating moments to look forward to.
How can couples maintain intimacy with long-distance sex toys?
When you’re long distance, the same activities that foster emotional and intellectual intimacy can be merged with toys for a spicier experience.
If you’d like to edge your partner and build anticipation, send them a voice note of you teasing yourself with your vibrator. Play the vibrations as you ask, “Do you like that?” and see how long it takes them to hop on the app and please you. After all, who says you have to hop on a flight to please your lover?
Mutual masturbation is the easiest way to bridge the gap. You can enjoy mutual masturbation with We-Vibe’s Tease Us Set, which is great for couples who desire discreet vibrations. Crafted with inclusivity in mind, you can fine-tune this set to your preferred style of pleasure. Because the Moxie is a wearable vibe, you don’t have to stick to the bedroom to indulge. Why not take it for a ride for some steamy public play? It has a built-in magnet that you can attach to any pair of panties. Bond, on the other hand, is beyond powerful and comes in custom sizing for penis owners – so no worries about sizing here.
Both of these vibes can be used with their remotes or Bluetooth app on your phone, so bring your remotes when you’re finally IRL, and during penetration, Bond’s vibrations will vibrate on your partner’s clitoris, adding more stimulation.
How to introduce sex toys to your relationship
Did you know that 88% of couples use sex toys? So, if you’re seeking to incorporate toys into your routine, you’re not alone. First, spend some time with yourself to understand your desires. Maybe you’ve been using solo penetration toys and noticed you can only orgasm from both clitoral and penetrative pleasure. Or maybe you desire an extra hand in a certain position. It's important to understand your desires first so you can best communicate them with your partner.
Next, it's time to spill the tea to your lover. Start by reassuring them and letting them know you love intimacy with them. Pro tip: use the sandwich method. Essentially, you’re opening with what you love about f-cking them, followed by a bit of vulnerability and opening up about what you’d like to try, then closing with another thing you just love about intimacy with them. For example, “I love when you ______. I think adding a sex toy would make that even sexier.”
Hot ideas for long-distance sex
Now for the fun part: long-distance relationship intimacy ideas. Each of these scenarios is meant to be elevated with a long-distance or remote toy.
Elevate foreplay with sexting
Foreplay doesn’t start in the bedroom – it's an all-day affair. Try sexting throughout the day to further build the anticipation. Although it seems counterproductive because you’re most likely already horny, trust us, it’ll make that next orgasm all the more worth it. For example, send a “Good Morning” text with a nude photo in invisible ink. As the day gets spicier, drop phrases like “I can’t wait to make you c-m later” and “Let me see how wet your panties are.”
Don’t be afraid to schedule Facetime/virtual sex
By now you know that time is of the essence when love is at a distance, so don’t hesitate to schedule intimacy. Although having your partner talk you through it is sexy, sometimes you need a sexy visual – not just for them, but for you, too! If you prefer penetration and clitoral stimulation, invest in a rabbit vibrator like the Lovense Nora App-Controlled Rotating Rabbit Vibrator. It rotates as it stimulates the clitoris and the G-spot, providing an unbeatable blended orgasm.It can also be synced with other Lovense products for a simultaneous climax you won’t forget.
Enjoy an audio porn fantasy
Listening to audio porn together is not only a bonding exercise but allows you to enjoy a new fantasy. Now, instead of fantasizing that you’re with your partner and using sex toys for couples, make them yearn for a little longer. Introduce a toy, like the Exomoon Bluetooth Mini Lipstick Vibe which is one of the most discreet long-distance sex toys for couples (especially if you do want to travel with it when you eventually see each other) and give yourself a sensual massage as your lover listens. Let them beg to see you please yourself, but only allow them to see just how turned on you are, whether that’s wetness on your toy or the other kind of surprise, after you climax. If your partner has a praise kink, this is the best time to give them that well-deserved “Good girl” or “Good boy.”
Have fun, and check out the top couples toys here!
Gigi Fong is a writer, editor and podcast producer with over 7 years of experience creating engaging, women's empowerment content. Their specialties include sexuality, dating/relationships, fashion, art and digital content creation which they often cover in their current role as Sex and Dating Editor at Hypebae.
