Spank You Very Much

The thud of a paddle, the sting of a crop, the slap of an open hand...

Impact play can add so much sensation and a whole new dynamic to any kind of play. Spanking and impact can be flirty and painful, fun and sassy, hot and heavy, or even integrated as a part of even deeper layers of kink. Whichever way you wanna play with impact, here are some tips for safely incorporating spanking into your bedroom routine... it's sure to be a hit.

Heads up! There's a lot to impact play- emotional and physical. This is not a definitive guide to all things impact. Always make sure to take everyone's needs into consideration when engaging in any BDSM play.

 
Consent + Communication - We all know that consent is a crucial and required aspect of any kind of sexual encounter, but when it comes to BDSM play, it's even more vital that you ensure everyone is on the same page and is giving fully informed enthusiastic consent. Ask before playing, and check in throughout! With impact play, you may want pain to be an aspect of your scene- but either way, make sure that you have a safeword in place that will stop the action completely if your play takes a turn from pleasurable pain to crossing a boundary.

The Sweet Spots - There are some parts of the body- like the booty and the meaty parts of the thighs- that are perfect for spanking, but other parts- like the back and stomach- are higher-risk zones, and some dangerous areas- like the neck or behind the knees- that should not be struck, especially by those brand spankin' (heh) new to impact. Our friends at Autostraddle have a great infographic you can view here to help you map out prime strike zones.

Find A Rhythm - Start slow! Not only can it be really hot to tease, but the body needs to warm up before a good spanking sesh, so give your bottom's bottom some light raps or even a nice massage to get the blood flowing before landing a good thwack. Find a good cadence and build intensity as you go, remembering to communicate! Ask your bottom if they'd like more- harder? Softer? Not only is it safe, but incorporating these questions as a form of dirty talk can really heighten your scene. You can even have them give feedback on a scale of 1-10, 1 being feather-light and 10 being unpleasantly intense. Even with more sadistic play, try to keep your blows at an 8 maximum, and remember, the bottom should be making the call on what that feels like.

Come Equipped - Our hands make excellent spanking tools, but using toys can be a really sexy way to integrate new sensations into your impact play. Toys that have a broader surface area, like paddles, can have a thuddy sensation- which means you'll be serving up some nice, deep, penetrating blows. Tools like riding crops can provide a stingy impact- which means a sharper sensation that's more likely to leave a lasting mark. Floggers come in an array of textures and lengths, and can range from “soft and pillowy” to “mean and bitey” depending on the material and size of the tails. Just like with your hands, make sure you practice your aim with lighter hits before giving a full swing.

Aftercare - Once the scene is over, that doesn't mean you're done! Make sure that after impact play that you take time to physically and emotionally care for your bottom and yourself! It's always best to ask before a scene what aftercare should look like for all involved, but still check in afterwards regardless. If you want to prevent intense bruising, use soft touch with some oils to massage the area and get keep blood flow moving through struck bits. Talk to one another about what you liked or disliked, and if you'd like to try it again sometime, what you both can do to make this kind of play even better every time.
Now get out there and make an impact!