Top Picks for Trans Femme Folks: Sex Toys, Gender Affirming Products, Post-Op Tools and More
Alright, babes—let’s talk pleasure, power, and feeling like the unstoppable goddess you are! As a trans femme person, exploring what makes your body sing is a journey worth celebrating.
Whether you’re here to boost your confidence, knock off dysphoria to the gutter, or just want to treat yourself (because why not?), the right toys and tools can make all the difference, honey.
Before we get into the good stuff, let me give you a little background so you can read this blog with some context—because understanding what a trans femme like Kiki needs sexually is crucial, honey. I wear a LOT of hats. I'm a full-time Community Engagement Coordinator at Trans: Thrive, a weekly drag sensation in the Castro and SoMA, and a board member for not one, but TWO nonprofits. My schedule? Jam-packed, darling.
And let’s be real—when you’re juggling all that, self-care is essential. For me, that means taking time to really release tension… if you catch my drift. Pleasuring myself isn’t just a luxury, it’s a necessity—like a spa day for my soul.
You Deserve to Love Yourself, Babe.
Exploring self-pleasure with sex toys isn’t just a solo adventure, it’s a masterclass in knowing and loving yourself. When you take the time to understand your desires and what makes you go "ooh," you’re not just unlocking pleasure—you’re building a deeper connection with your body. And trust me, when you know what you like, you bring that confidence into every room you strut into, making your intimate experiences with others smoother, sexier, and full of open communication. Because baby, knowledge is power, and in the bedroom, it’s a superpower.
And let’s talk safety—sex toys are your loyal, drama-free lovers who always have your back. They give you the freedom to explore your wild side without the risks of unprotected or casual encounters. No awkward morning-after convos, no "what ifs," just you, your toy, and a fabulous time. Taking charge of your pleasure is the ultimate act of self-care, darling—because if you’re not treating yourself right, how can you expect anyone else to?
But wait, there’s more! When you’re vibing with yourself (literally), you’re also boosting your self-confidence and body positivity. Using sex toys lets you embrace every curve, jiggle, and quirk with pride. Forget those tired societal standards—your body is a temple, and you’re the high priestess of pleasure. Owning your sexuality on your own terms is empowering as hell, and nothing’s sexier than someone who knows their worth.
The tips I will share will be your backstage pass to the best sex toys for trans women, gender-affirming products, and post-op care essentials—all curated to keep you feeling fierce and fabulous.
Why Gender-Affirming Pleasure Matters
Whether you’re just starting your transition journey, living your post-op fantasy, or shining bright anywhere in between, know this: you deserve products that affirm, empower, and work with your body—not against it. Because, honey, your body is not a problem to be fixed—it’s a masterpiece to be honored. So why settle for anything less than the best?
Let’s be real—society loves to pile on the shame when it comes to pleasure, especially for those of us living our truth loud and proud. But baby, we’re not here to play small. We’re here to take up space, to revel in every sensation, and to embrace pleasure as our birthright. No more tiptoeing around desire. No more apologizing for wanting what feels good. This is your invitation to dive headfirst into a world where pleasure isn’t a guilty secret—it’s a glorious, glittering act of self-love.
So, throw on your fiercest lewk, crank up your favorite power anthem, and remember this: you are worthy of pleasure that feels as good as you look. No shame, no limits—just pure, unfiltered joy. And if the world can’t handle your radiance, well, that’s their problem. You? You’re too busy living deliciously, unapologetically, and on your own terms.
Best Sex Toys for Trans Femme Folks
Vibrators for Different Types of Stimulation
A good vibrator is like your best Judy—always there when you need a little (or a lot of) pleasure. Here’s the tea on finding the right vibe for you:
Bullet Vibrators
Bullet vibes are small but mighty—like a shot of your favorite espresso for your erogenous zones. It is so perfect for clitoral play or any sensitive spot that needs some sugar.
Wand Vibrators
The Queen B of vibrators—wands are powerful, iconic, and ready to slay. These are fab for all-over stimulation and work wonders if you want deep, rumbly sensations.
Insertable Vibrators
If you’re craving for some internal magic, these beauties deliver the goods. Just find a shape that works with your anatomy, and you’re golden.
Want to upgrade your pleasure tools? Check out our Trans Femme Faves for vibrators that truly understand the pleasure mission.
Dildos and Strap-Ons for Solo or Partnered Fun
Whether you’re flying solo or sharing the spotlight, dildos and strap-ons are here to keep things spicy.
Body-Safe Dildos
Go for silicone, darling—it’s hypoallergenic, easy to clean, and feels oh-so-gaga-good. Pick a size and texture that makes your heart (and other parts) flutter. (Psst - all of the dildos at Good Vibes - silicone, metal, glass - are body-safe and phthalate-free.)
Inclusive Strap-Ons
Not all harnesses are built the same, henney. Look for ones that serve your different body types—because comfort is key when you’re serving looks and pleasure.
Need a little guidance? Our Strap-On 101 Guide has all the juicy deets.
Gender-Affirming Products for Comfort and Confidence
Tucking Underwear and Gaffs
If you want that smooth silhouette without sacrificing comfort, tucking underwear and gaffs have your back (and your front). Look for soft and stretchy fabrics that keep everything in place without squishing the life out of you. Because beauty should never mean pain. There are even bodyform panties that feature a vulva you can play with if that’s your vibe!
Breast Forms and Enhancers
Whether you’re adding a little bounce or going full my-coconuts moment, breast forms and enhancers are here to help you serve body-ody-ody. Silicone breast forms offer a natural feel with a fab shape—perfect for when you want that extra oomph. Or, for a subtler boost, padded or stuffed bras can give you curves while keeping things comfy.
Sensory and Sensual Items for Dysphoria Relief
When dysphoria tries it, sensory comfort comes through. Wrap yourself in a silk robe, light a dreamy candle, and let those soothing vibes work their magic. Sensual touch products like massage oils and soft, textured toys can help ground you in the moment.
Post-Op Recovery and Intimate Care Tools
If you’ve had gender-affirming surgery, babe, you deserve all the TLC. Here’s how to keep things comfy and cared for during recovery.
What Are Dilators?
Dilators are a post-op essential, but don’t worry—I’ve got you. Dilators are Medical-grade tools that keep your new vaginal canal open and healthy. It’s a must for vaginoplasty recovery.
How Do I Use a Dilator?
Slather on that lube (water-based is your BFF), go slow, and follow your surgeon’s schedule. Be patient—your body is doing amazing things.
Lubricants and Aftercare for Vaginal Health
Water-based lubes are safe for use with dilators and gentle on sensitive tissue, while natural lubes with added botanicals like aloe are perfect for soothing post-op discomfort and keeping things feeling lush.
Navigating Dysphoria-Friendly Sex Toys
Pleasure without the dysphoria drama? Yes, please. Go for toys designed with versatility and gender neutrality in mind—like external stimulators and harnesses that work with your body. If it feels right for you, then that’s what matters!
Where to Find Community and Support
Let’s get one thing straight (and by straight, I mean fabulously queer)—you are never alone. No matter where you are on your journey, there’s a whole universe of LGBTQ+ groups, online communities, and sex-positive spaces just waiting to welcome you with open arms.
Share your story, swap tips, cry it out, laugh it up—whatever you need, your people are out here. And trust, we’re not just cheering from the sidelines. We are deep in the game, rooting for you with every fierce, glittery fiber of our being.
And speaking of having your back, honey, Trans: Thrive is here to make sure you’re not just surviving—you’re thriving. Whether you’re discovering new layers of your identity, affirming your gorgeous self, or navigating the nuances of post-op care, you deserve tools that honor and celebrate you.
Ready to treat yourself?
Not every brand deserves your hard-earned coin—stick with those prioritizing inclusivity, body safety, and pleasure. Good Vibes? They get it, babe. Browse Good Vibes’ picks for trans femme products to find the perfect goodies for your body and desires. Whether you’re chasing that sweet, sweet euphoria or embracing post-op tenderness with love and care, we’ve got the best of the best—because nothing less will do for royalty like you.
So, hold that head high, babe. You are worthy, you are radiant, and you are so, so loved. Hugs, kisses, and a whole lot of sparkle—sib, you got this!
Kiki Lopez (aka Kiki Krunch) is a proud trans woman living with HIV and the Community Engagement Coordinator at San Francisco Community Health Center. She passionately advocates for people living with HIV and trans communities, especially queer and trans Asian and Pacific Islanders, promoting cultural humility and harm reduction. She is also one of the matriarchs of the Mabuhay Bitches, an all Filipino drag troupe. She was crowned Miss GLBTQIA+ Asian and Pacific Alliance (GAPA) 2023 and was recently recognized and honored by the city and county of San Francisco, through the Center of Immigrant Protection for her contributions to the transgender immigrant community.
