Wedded Bliss: Toys for Your Honeymoon
Some people who get married wait for their honeymoon to have sex (or specific kinds of sex), and some have been consummating their relationship since their first date! But no matter where you fall on that (or any other) spectrum, and no matter what lovely and romantic getaway you’ve booked to celebrate your union, you might want to pack more than just cute vacation outfits–you might want to pack toys!
Why newlyweds might want to use toys
Toys enhance arousal and many kinds of erotic experience, including orgasm. They open doors to communication and exploration. Those sound like a pretty perfect set of things to make your honeymoon special! Taking toys along means you have lots of options for pleasuring each other and many ways to enjoy intimacy–including the interpersonal kind that comes when you talk about choosing and using toys to begin with.
Is it normal for married couples to use sex toys?
We’re not really wild about the word normal around here because it is so often used to denigrate people’s sexual interests or keep someone “in their lane.” There are a lot of people in the world, and most consensual kinds of erotic play are normal for a whole lot of folks; and hardly anything is engaged in by everyone. We don’t want you to start off your wedded life telling each other (or secretly feeling) you’re not normal–yikes! Not every couple is the same when it comes to sexual habits in a relationship, and that’s okay.
That being said: YES, many married couples are big fans of sex toys–either from their frisky times before the wedding, the celebratory and sexy togetherness of the honeymoon, or adopted later on to open up communication and pleasure when and if things have gotten a little “same-y.” The short point we’d like to make is: If you both want to explore something, you absolutely can! Research and learn if you need to, definitely discuss and negotiate if that’s a good idea, and keep communicating as you explore.
Toys have a reputation for being for solo play. But that’s not how a lot of folks use them, at least not all the time. You can focus on yourself or get wild with sex toys, but you can also get intimate–learning more about how to please each other, talking about your sexual desires and experience, and using this to grow closer. They can be tools of romance, not just gizmos to try if someone isn’t having an orgasm. (Though never forget that they might be great to explore in that scenario too!)
How to communicate to your new spouse if it’s the first time using sex toys
Your marital status isn’t the first thing to focus on when you want to add toys into your sexual relationship. Sex partners of any sort, from wedded for life to engaging in a fling, will have a far better experience if they can talk about their desires and limits. Engaging in guesswork about what your partner wants (or doesn’t want) too often results in unsatisfying sex–or worse. So consider communication a cornerstone of your sexuality–your whole sex life will be better for it.
Toy play, of course, is one aspect of the desires and limits we just mentioned. A person (of any gender and sexual interest) can like or be curious about one type of toy–or lots! So first, think about what your interests are. In talking with your partner, you’ll want to find out about their interests, and then figure out where yours and theirs intersect. Same with boundaries! What you don’t want (or aren’t ready) to experience is, if anything, even more important than what you do want to try. Crossing one another’s boundaries isn’t supposed to happen in a healthy sex life, and clear communication is one way to guard against this.
Breaking the ice about sex toys
Not everyone is empowered to speak comfortably about sex, we know–but that is something you can change, alone or together, as a basic commitment to each other. So ideally you have talked about sex (plenty!) before your honeymoon, regardless of whether you’re waiting to be sexual together then. This helps you know what to expect, gives you a chance to learn more about various sexual options and interests, and not coincidentally to figure out what type/s of toys you might want to pack!
When you’re getting intimate and ready for sexual play, you can ask whether your partner wants to explore the toy now, talk about how you want to incorporate it, and make sure you both know what to say if you need to stop using it or need any kind of support. Including lubricant!
You can borrow the concept of the safe word from kink culture–even if you and your spouse are not at all interested in kink. (Of course, perhaps you are! More to talk about!) A safeword is a word to use to stop or slow things down. Many people use the “red light green light” game as inspiration and say red, yellow and green–stop, slow, go–but you can come up with your own personal lingo together if you like.
Honeymooning with your vibes: What to remember when traveling with toys
Learn about the way your toy/s work before you depart. Does it use batteries or charge up in advance? How long does the charge last? Make sure you bring the charger–and the cord–and know how it works. Make sure your honeymoon destination can accommodate the kind of plug your toy or charger has! Also, does it have a travel lock? More about that in a second, but make sure you know how that works too.
A toy without a travel lock, or with its batteries in it, could get jostled in your luggage and start to vibrate or thrust or whatever it’s designed to do. That makes Homeland Security nervous, and you will have a much better time at the airport if that doesn’t happen!
Speaking of those folks–confirm the rules of your departure and destination airport re: the size of lube bottles or other personal liquids you can bring with you. An X-L bottle of your fave is great at home, but you might need the mini size (or a few) when you travel.
If you are leaving the country, seek to find out whether your destination is comfortable with your - ahem - personal care items or whether you might run the risk of trouble if your toy is considered an obscene device. (Let’s be 100% clear–it isn’t! But what matters is what they have to say at Customs, so know before you go.)
Travel lock for take-off
Some toys have a button that locks the toy so it will not turn on in your suitcase (or carry-on, or coat pocket). You might want to choose a toy that has this feature! Toys that don’t use power won’t need this element, so you can pack dildos and many kinds of kink gear without that worry. (But some kink toys may be considered weapons, so think that through. And put all that into luggage, not your carry-on.)
Charged and ready
Familiarize yourself with what you need to power up before you travel. Make sure you take all the parts–the plug won’t work without a cable. In fact, especially if this is a new toy, bring the lil’ brochure with the instructions too!
Not all chargers are compatible with international outlets, so make sure you know if your toy can be used with an international converter, like USB-powered toys are.
Oh, and if you’re bringing along a battery operated buddy, be sure that you bring along an extra set with you. We strongly recommend taking out your batteries from your toy before traveling to avoid buzzing luggage and to prevent batteries from potentially leaking if there’s any extreme heat wherever your suitcase is stowed on its journey.
Keep it clean
You can clean almost any kind of toy with mild soap (not antibacterial) and water. But adult toy cleaning products are available for this purpose too, and to be honest, that will be kind of sexy to unpack and set up in the bathroom! There are lots of easy-to-travel-with options, like this carry-on-ready size of spray-on toy cleaner or some wipes to have at the ready when you are.
Always remember the lube!
Never, never start a honeymoon without lubricant! You might want it for your body-to-body play as well as for your toys, and so pack a type that works well with safer sex materials like latex (if you are using any–they’re great for pregnancy prevention too) and your toy material (don’t use silicone with silicone toys– water-based works well for basically everything).
Treats that can spice up your honeymoon
If both you and your newly wedded spouse both want to play with a type of toy, that automatically makes it one that can spice up your wedding night or honeymoon! But partly because these events - especially the post-wedding getaway - have a long reputation as a time of sexual connection and intimate exploration, and generally a very couple-oriented time, some of the toys and products that are commonly brought on honeymoon or recommended for it share some “spicing up a twosome” qualities.
Massage oils
Using sensual massage as a gateway into more genitally-focused intimacy is often thought of as a gentle and gradual way to move towards sex. It’s also, though, a wonderful way to drop the tension of travel and that whole major production you both just starred in (you know, your wedding!).
Edible and lickable oils and flavored lubes
Edibles and lickables also enhance “foreplay” and the gradual exploration of each others’ bodies. They help make oral sex extra fun and also easier to explore if someone is new to this activity. (Just note that we don’t recommend flavored oils for penetrative intercourse. Bring lube for that.)
Bath treats
What better way to relax and get close (and clean!) than to share a bath together? If neither of you has sensitivities to the ingredients in bath bombs or bubbles, this might be another lovely way to soak in the sensuality.
And just to remind everyone that you don’t have to go far away on a honeymoon–maybe you’re staying home and having a romantic staycation! For that you will definitely want to luxuriate in the tub together or get sexy in the shower. Erotic touch in water is sensual and intimate, and the whole scenario can be relaxing and arousing in equal measure. If there’s no tub, explore your shower options! Just check first whether you are safe from slip hazards (a great lubricant for water is silicone, but don’t spill that stuff underfoot! And don’t pull the shower door off trying to hold on to it during sex).
Speaking of getting wet and wild, if you bring toys into the tub or shower with you, make sure they’re waterproof. There are many styles that are, including ones you can submerge and those that are just splash-resistant–make the latter shower enhancers only.
Lingerie
You are having a special, sexy, loving time, and you look great. But a sexy item or three of lingerie is like tying yourself up in a bow!
Lingerie or other sexy garb can heat things up because it looks so erotic–but it’s not just a show for a spouse, it can also make you feel special, increase your confidence, and set a romantic and intimate (or super-sexy) mood. We’re not just talking about girlie, femme garments either: Sexy dressing is for anyone of any gender, so pack with that in mind. Maybe you’ll want to put on a show for each other!
Exploring couples toys
Let’s be clear that couples can pretty much play with anything a solo person can. But some toys (or sets) are made with partner play in mind. This can include toys like strap-ons; vibrating rings; and toys that stimulate booth partners simultaneously, like the We-Vibe family of toys.
Remote toys
Some honeymoons involve some nightlife and sightseeing, and maybe it would be fun for one of you to be wearing a toy and the other to have the remote control for that toy. Here’s another communication opportunity: Make sure you’ve talked about scenarios where you would not like to be surprised this way. And when you would!
External vibes
Many people think of vibrators as the type of sex toy that someone might use to take the place of having a partner for intercourse. Some do use them that way, but many are not insertable at all, but are designed for external vibing–and that’s because there are more nerves on the outside that respond to this sensation than there are inside. If penetration is the only thing that you consider to be sex, please expand your horizons now! Everybody and every body has areas on their body where vibration might feel fantastic, from relaxing to orgasmic. Not sure where yours (or your spouse’s) are? Pack an external vibe and go exploring!
Beyond this, vibrators provide sensation that our own body parts and erotic acts don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with adding a little more sensation to an already sensational time.
Oh, and don’t forget the lube! Have a fabulous time, lovebirds!
