Of course many intrepid people have taken erotic exploration into their own hands–literally!--and foraged for a sex toy in a store like Good Vibes, or online. But there’s another route taken by some pleasure products to reach their new owners–wrapped up in a bow or in a fancy bag. Some sex toys come as gifts to commemorate a special occasion or holiday–or for no reason at all except to celebrate intimacy. Read on for some thoughts about gifting toys–sex toys for him, sex toys for her, and sex toys for them! 

Breaking Taboos: Sex Toys as Gifts

Let's start this off right - while we love the idea of gifting pleasure and bringing some extra joy to your present exchanges, you gotta respect consent first and foremost. Sex and sex toys are often thought of as so extremely private that considering giving someone a sex toy might seem downright taboo. And indeed, if you don’t have an acknowledged sexual relationship with a person you’d like to gift a toy, take a second to assess whether or not this is an appropriate choice, otherwise you run the risk of offending or harassing them–for most, a boundary exists between the people they’d enjoy receiving a sex-themed gift from and those they would not. Being attracted to another person isn’t a reason to go dildo-shopping for them! BUT: If your relationship is based on mutual attraction and openness about sexual topics, it may be that the old taboo against explicit gifts is nearly gone or already broken in your dealings with each other. Be thoughtful about this issue, but if you already have a comfortable and sex-positive connection, you might in fact be the perfect person to give this gift.

Do you know that the recipient wants one? Have they had one before? Do you know what they’d like to explore, toy-wise? Because toys can’t be returned, it’s wise to think through questions like these before you visit a store or place an online order. It’s easy to assume everyone wants or enjoys sex toys if you’re interested in them–but not everyone wants to explore this way. So start off your gift-giving with the best present of all: communication!

How to Choose the Right Sex Toy as a Gift

Here are other ways to make the right choice. Consider anything your gift recipient has said about what they like sexually. Have they ever expressed an interest in a certain kind of toy or specific play? Do they have fave kinds of porn, and can you intuit (or have they said right out) what they think is hot about that? Are they open about discussing sex at all, or do you need to read the room regarding their preferences by paying attention to their body language? Also–are you assuming things about what they like sexually simply because of their gender or sexual orientation? Those clues may not be enough to go on.

If your gift recipient is the strong silent type, or shy and quiet, even these questions might not get you too far. You might want to explore sexy games that encourage talking about sex before you choose a type of sex toy; games that ask questions about sex or truth-or-dare-esque games might be a good choice to help get the disclosure going. So might an informational compendium that discusses lots of sexual practices and issues, like our Sex & Pleasure Book. Read it together, and discuss! 

And remember: If you do not have the kind of relationship with your giftee that allows for open sexual conversation, knowing some specifics of their sex life, or other similar levels of intimacy, there IS a perfect gift ready for you to share: a gift card! Even if you are in a long-term intimate relationship with your giftee, this might still be the very best choice. If they want to choose something privately, they can. If they are open to making it an erotic adventure together, you can go shopping together. Doing so can be date night par excellence–and once you have your new toy, date night is just getting started!

Understanding Your Partner's Preferences

The questions we asked above are useful when you think of your partner’s desires and preferences too. Don’t assume; it’s easy to buy into myths about sex that don’t hold up for everyone, like “a larger dildo will help her orgasm.” (For the real low-down on how to choose a dildo, check out our guide here). As with friends and others with whom you have a close relationship, it’s important to be able to communicate enough about sex to get some clues about what they might really enjoy. Pair this up with observing their behavior and responses when you have sex. There’s such a wide range of things that people desire and enjoy, this is really important if you want to get a gift they’ll love and get pleasure from.

The great thing about communication is: If you’re not already doing plenty of it, this is a perfect time to start! It’s much better to exchange information and learn from that than just assume you know what they want. Even if you have info on what kind of porn they like, that doesn’t always lead you to a toy (a gift of more porn might benefit from this knowledge though). The reason for this: People don’t always want to engage in the activities they watch in porn and fantasize about! Sometimes they do, but other times, they want to keep it in their psyche as an erotic accelerator that turns them on, but not act it out. So if you have discovered their porn preferences, ask them if that’s a good hint for a gift. Or, honestly, just ask them what kind of toys they’re curious to explore!

Observing their responses when having sex is another great source of intel for sex toy shopping. If they are especially into oral, an air pleasure toy for clitoral stimulation or penis sleeve (some include suction!) might be perfect. If they love anal, any anal-safe toy of a size you know they would enjoy might thrill them. Get them a bottle of lube too while you’re shopping! If they’re into clitoral touch, an external vibe might be just the thing. If they talk when they’re turned on, play close attention! BTW- whether you're shopping for yourself or someone else, if it's your first time, check out our beginner's guide to choosing the perfect sex toy.

Finally–this is much easier if your partner already has toys they like. That can help you narrow down a type of plaything, making the choice easier. Our store SESAs or customer service staff can help you with recommendations for new and comparable products. Or get a gift card, take them to a delightful lunch, then go shopping! And note any hints from the shopping trip for next time. The year has so many opportunities for sexy gift-giving.

Novelty vs Usefulness: What Type of Toy to Choose 

If you’re most  interested in sending a frisky message and getting something sexy, hoping to open up a conversation about toy play or your sex life in general, you might want to choose a fun novelty-type gift. At Good Vibes, though we do carry some novelty items, we’re especially interested in offering you things that are cute and fun but that are actually hot to play with! Think about Emojibator vibes, Cute Little Fuckers toys, air pleasure unicorns and other adorable toys. Another kind of gift that can be great to send a sexy message: books, whether erotic or informative. That’s an especially sensible (yet still sexy) pick when you haven’t tried a type of sex before–why wouldn’t you want to read up on it before you dive in? These are all useful gifts that carry their “SEX TOY!” identity lightly, as do elegant sexy things like the Vesper vibrating necklace. 

On the other hand, if you know they’ve been pining for a powerful wand vibe, skip the cute critter-shaped playthings and proceed directly to the wand page on the website, or comparable section of the store, where our staff can tell you all about your options. We choose adorable items with utility–but sometimes, a giftee really does know what kind of toy experience they want to have, and if they have dropped hints for you, that’s powerful info at gift-giving time.

Giving a sex toy as a gift for different occasion 

If a person wants a specific kind of toy or an experience that can be facilitated by sexy products, that could be an appealing gift any time of year. But if you’re aiming for a particular holiday or special occasion kind of gift experience, that can add an extra special layer of meaning to your present. 

Valentine's Day Gift ideas 

This is a day that’s all about romance, which can include threads of love and intimacy, erotic connection, and making each other feel special. The more attuned to your partner’s desires you are, the more a sexy Valentine’s gift will make them feel seen and cherished. 

Valentine’s Day gifts can even have a roleplay or D/s vibe–many kink practitioners do romance this way!--if that’s what you’re both into or you know that’s where your relationship is going. 

Celebrating Anniversaries with a sexy surprise 

Anniversaries are your personal Valentine’s Day! They’re about celebrating not love and sex in general, but YOUR story of connection and passion. It’s no surprise that anniversary gifts are often chosen to enhance both partners’ experience. Give some thought to what you’d like to share with your sweetheart or spouse—not just what you’d like to experience. (Does your person love lingerie and you’d love to see them in a new barely-there garment? Perfect! Do they not like it but you still want to dress ‘em up? Ehhh, try something else this year.) Here's our guide to picking out the perfect couples' toy.

This is also a great time for games that help you explore or get to know each other more deeply. If you’re doing anniversary gifting for a partner you’re not sure about as far as what they truly love, give them the gift of deeper intimacy as you explore those questions with fun and frisky games. 

Sexual wellness gifts for birthdays 

Birthday gifts can celebrate partners’ erotic connection, of course, but the thing about birthdays is: They are the day to celebrate the birthday person! So choosing something that will enhance their wellbeing is a fantastic choice. Maybe it’s pampering body care. Maybe yummy massage products and a certificate for a night exploring massage. Maybe it’s a CBD-infused product that will help them chill out in the best way. 

Spicing up the holidays with sex toy gifts 

The holidays are full of opportunities to show off your present-selecting skills to friends, family, even co-workers. Unless you have very sex-positive and open-minded people around you, these are not the times to hand over a beautifully-wrapped butt plug! There is no shame in celebrating the private relationship you share with your giftee when you’re alone together—and it’s a wonderful experience to open up a fun and frisky gift when everyone else has been knitting you sweaters. Just don’t choose the sexual equivalent of a gift basket with foods your giftee doesn’t even eat—this is still a time to think carefully about what this person would appreciate and find sexy, spicy joy in exploring. 

Give the gifts that keep giving!

You can change a person’s life with a well-chosen erotic gift, opening up doors to pleasure and exploration. Before you choose something, think it through and do your research so the recipient is getting something appropriate and that will give them enjoyment. We’re here to help you think it through! And before we go… 
If you’re really not sure what they want, that’s your cue to give a gift card!