When it comes to switching things up in bed, you don’t always have to go for something “bold” or “kinky” or even new – sometimes a classic is the perfect fit. Whether you’re a regular handy-person or this kind of partnered stroking is a throwback for you – or if you’re just getting introduced to the world of getting handsy - there’s so much to explore when it comes to handjobs.

Our hands are incredible tools when it comes to lots of activities, but especially pleasure. Our palms can caress, our fists can grip, our fingers can tap and tease. Exploring all of the sensations that our hands can make all across the cock – from the balls to the shaft and the head – can make the handjob so much more than a simple stroke.

First things first

To start, we’ll let you in on the universal secret to a better handy: LUBE.

Lube cuts down on friction while keeping all of the sensations and allows you to play with pressure and speed in a way that, without lube, may twist and tug at skin in uncomfortable ways. Having the slickness of lube will open the door to adding in lots of new moves.

Silicone lube will give you slickness that lasts, with a texture that feels more like an oil where a little bit can go a long, long way.

If you’re adding in toys like strokers, vibrators, or cock rings, you’ll want a lube that plays nicely with toys, like a water-based or hybrid lubricant. These can have a more liquid or gel-like texture, and can provide some extra cushion to your movements.

Should you want to add some mouth in, stroking with a flavored lube and then licking it up when you’re done or as you go can add a little something extra for both the giver and receiver.

Know what’s up

The next trick is something that is essential to better sex across the board, and that’s communication. While a good HJ may seem pretty self-explanatory, the truth is that the cock is covered with nerve endings that can experience sensation as uniquely as anywhere on the rest of the body – so there’s no one-stroke-fits-all.

Experiment together with different pressures as you move your hand/s – checking in as you add a bit more grip or tension to find the perfect amount: what can feel like a 3 to one shaft can feel like a 6 on others. Remember that the tip is the most sensitive part of the cock, and so any sensation there can feel even more pronounced (which can definitely be a great thing)!

If there are balls involved, taking it slow to see what kinds of sensations feel good there is important as well, as – for many folks – the testicles can be super sensitive. If you or your partner have an intact foreskin, same thing goes for that foreskin and the sensitive tip underneath - start gentle and level up to where you + your boo feel the best sensation.

Hands-on learning

Have your partner stroke themselves in front of a mirror while you stand behind them and watch. As they go, place your hand over theirs to get a feel for the motion, and join them as they go, until you finally replace their hand with your own to finish the job. (Like the scene from Ghost, but instead of pottery, it’s a handjob. More fun, IMHO.)

Not only is this a great way to know exactly what it is they like, but watching your partner get off and watching both of you play together in the mirror adds a whole new level of hotness to it. You can add in some roleplay, or maybe you’ll even discover a bit of a voyeur / exhibitionism kink as you go…

Add a helping hand

Sure, the key part of a handjob is the hand part, but why not give your hand a hand with some added sensation? Toys can add feel and texture that our hands don’t naturally have to enhance our HJs, or just change up the routine.

A textured stroker offers ridges, bumps, twists and more – they may seem subtle, but these little nubs can make a world of difference when it comes to sensation. Strokers like these work nicely on many different sized cocks, including some trans masc growth as well. 

Vibration is something oft overlooked when it comes to penis play, which we think is a huge missed opportunity. The cock is super nerve-rich and has hot-spots all over that can respond well to the added stimulation of a buzz. There are even vibrators specifically designed for shafts!

Cock rings are designed to help restrict blood flow and create pressure that many enjoy and feel enhances their erection. Cock rings can add fun, a cool or sexy aesthetic look, and even vibration to your play.

Make it a blended orgasm by adding in some internal sensation as well! Wearing an anal plug designed to add pressure or vibration to the prostate can enhance the sensations of your handjob and super-charge your O. 

Bust a move

If you’re not sure where to start with some new moves, try out these fan faves from our popular Blowjob workshop:

Pump up the Jam:

This technique is perfect for getting things started. Focusing on the shaft, grip the base of the shaft (just above the balls) by circling it with your fingers and thumb. Squeeze gently in little pulses as you move up the shaft from base to tip. Do this a few times – going in an upward motion with each rep – to help pull blood flow up the cock to help get that erection going.

Hot Tip: Put on a cock ring like the Ahoy before you get started with this move to help trap that blood flow in the erection for more sensation.

Waterfalls:

Grasp a well-lubed hand around the base and slide it up and off the tip. Right as you reach the tip, use the other hand to do the same - starting at the base and sliding up again, continuing to switch as you go – this will feel almost like they are getting a continuous sensation of pulling out of the body.

Hot Tip: A thicker-based stroke cream like the Please Stroke Cream works great here, adding in a long-lasting buttery soft sensation to this move.

Do the Twist:

Making sure that the hands / shaft are well lubricated, grasp the cock with the entire hand, and corkscrew up and down with one hand, giving an extra little squeeze when hitting the tip. We can’t stress enough the importance of lube for this move – you’ll want as much slickness as you can get to keep the skin from tugging against the hand.

Hot Tip: Add some extra sensation to this move by using an open-ended stroker like the Good Head Pro Sleeve.

Thumbs Up:

When doing any kind of stroke, use your thumb/s to add pressure along the bottom of the shaft, up and onto the head. There are two major hot-spots – the raphe (a seam that runs along the underside of the shaft) and the frenulum (where the raphe meets the head of the penis) – that are super nerve-rich and tend to respond well to additional sensation.

Hot Tip: Run a vibrator along these hot-spots for even more stimulation. There are vibrating strokers designed with these spots in mind, like the Manta Vibrating Stroker which has textured wings to hug the cock – or the Hot Octopuss Pulse line which features a pulsing plate that targets the frenulum.