A Beginner's Guide to Couples Toys: Where to Start
There are so many sex toy types, plus designs within each type–there is no one single best toy for all individuals or couples, but there might be a best toy for you, or one or more best couple’s sex toys for you and your partner.
Practically any toy might be used by a person solo or with a partner of any gender, but some toys are designed with couples in mind. Couples can become interested in toys to address some specific need or desire, but many find that opens the door to more exploration! Choosing and using toys together supports communication and intimacy and can be great for your sex life.
Below we’ll share some information about commonly-chosen and most popular toys as well as our picks for best couples’ sex toys.
Exploring Types of Couple Sex Toys
As we said, almost any toy can be a couple’s toy if a couple finds a way to play with it. So stay creative as you shop, because you never know which will turn out to be your favorite. A “couples’ toy” could be used in so many ways, not only intercourse–a toy enhancing a hand job, oral sex or blow jobs, BDSM and kink, and more. There’s no wrong way to explore, as long as you find something that excites everyone involved!
Vibrators for Couples
Some couples vibes are designed to stimulate both partners at once - the best-known of these may be the We-Vibe, which makes a tight curve like the letter C (in fact, these toys are sometimes called “C-shape vibes”). On a C-shape like the We-Vibe Sync, Chorus, or Sync O - one side fits inside the vagina to stimulate the G-spot, and the other hugs the clit as it stays in place, and the middle, curved portion is slender so that it can be used during penetration and add vibration for the giver as well!
Another type that’s easy to add to the mix during intercourse are hand-held vibrators. Commonly called clitoral vibes, mini-vibes, bullet vibes, finger vibes or palm vibes, these toys are petite and easy to maneuver in a variety of sex positions, and many of these toys even fit between partners’ bodies. VIbes like these are designed to add clitoral stimulation, which can actually be the difference between a satisfying orgasm and no orgasm, so many couples love adding a vibrator like this.
Remote control vibes come in two main categories – those that have a remote for when you’re playing together in the same room or vicinity (usually a 20-30 ft range), while others are app-controlled so that you can use them from any distance. With app-controlled vibes, your smartphone acts as the control via Bluetooth connection - so you can share an invite with a partner to download the app and play from across the room or across the globe! Playing with both of these toy styles can involve one partner holding the controls and surprising, withholding, or intensifying the other partner with vibration–whatever they’ve negotiated to do Some app-controlled toys, like Kiiroo, have a feature that allows each person’s toy to interact with the other automatically - so the movement you provide on your toy connects wirelessly to the other toy, allowing you to share the sensations. Here's more about app-controlled toys and how to play!
Cock Rings for Couples
When a cock ring is used solo, it‘s frequently chosen to circle the penis tightly enough to restrict blood flow out, which may extend the length of time the wearer has an erection. It can also add to the sensation the wearer feels.
Plus, a longer, stronger erection might make such a cock ring into a couple’s toy if there are two partners there to enjoy the results!
Generally, when we think of a couple’s cock ring, it has a vibrator on it to add clitoral stimulation - usually on top of the ring in a rounded shape, sometimes with additional textures or bunny ears to add even more sensation as it comes into contact with the clit during sex. Vibrating cock rings that have a remote or app can be used as a wearable toy to give the other partner control over the sensation that the person wearing the ring experiences. Some of these toys have more than one vibrator so they can add perineal sensation too, or stimulate the scrotum of the wearer.
Check out our blog all about choosing your cock ring here.
Anal Toys for Couples
Many couples are very curious about anal play and anal sex. Partners of any gender and orientation might enjoy it, and anal play can include anything from external anal stimulation to wearing anal plugs or prostate stimulators – toys that usually are inserted and then stay in while other play happens–to anal intercourse. Anal toys must be used with lubricant and they must have a base or some other design element that prevents them from slipping into the anus.
Anal toys may vibrate or not. A common way to explore anal play is by using plugs, and these toys can also be bought in sets for “anal training”--which means going from a smaller diameter to a larger one over time. Dildos, vibrating or not, can also be popular anal toys–we will discuss those next.
Curious? Here's a starter guide to anal toys.
Dildos & Extenders for Couples
Double Dildos: Depending on their length and flexibility (or built-in angle, if the toy is not very flexible), a double dildo can be used by two people vaginally, anally, or both. Many people fantasize about using these and it’s an erotic adventure to both be penetrated by one toy. Some of them are designed so that one end fits in the vagina or anus of one partner who can then use it much like a strap-on to penetrate the other. Some are designed as extra-long dildos with each end able to penetrate a user; neither side stays stationary in this case. These doubles may work better if one of the other partners grasps them in the middle to move them between the two.
Strap-ons: This is a dildo worn in a harness so that the wearer can penetrate someone else. These can be used vaginally or anally, because to fit in a harness, the dildo needs to have a base, which will make it anal-safe in most cases. When wearing a strap-on, partners can explore penetrative sex in any position. And they can use a cock ring on the dildo for extra stimulation, if desired. Please note that even if anal sex is the goal, you’d choose a dildo–not an anal plug. Those are the wrong shape for in-and-out play, particularly for beginners.
Extenders: An extender is a hollow dildo, often realistically-designed, that fits over a penis. Usually the wearer will choose this for one of two reasons–they wish to add length or girth to their penis; and/or they do not get as hard as they desire and want the extender to support having intercourse. If an extender doesn’t feel like it will stay on securely, you can fix that with a harness. And some people choose to wear a strap-on for these reasons as well–there are even harnesses designed for those who have a penis, accommodating both it and a dildo.
Other ways to play with dildos: Of course, just as a person might use a dildo by hand when playing solo, a couple can use a dildo to stimulate each other without wearing it. Dildos (especially strap-ons) can be central to masculine-presenting gender play, although some will use these as gender affirmation accessories too (especially the soft dildos called packers, which may or may not be firm enough to be used for penetration play).
Need help picking out a dildo? Here's our 101 blog on how to choose a dildo.
Sensation Play & BDSM Toys for Couples
Most BDSM play, from bondage to impact play and more, is done by partners (or two people playing together, regardless of whether they identify as a couple). In this common scenario one will take the role of the top or dominant, and the other will be the bottom or submissive. More extensive roleplay can also be part of BDSM, which stands for bondage & discipline, dominance & submission, and sadism & masochism. These types of play can all be tried by beginners or enjoyed by seasoned kinksters–but do learn about safety, negotiation, and safewords before you get started.
Check out some of our top picks for BDSM toys here.
